A Brown Mother

Frustration With Your New Baby

Every night it’s the same dread: putting your crying and sometimes screaming little baby to sleep. Every. Single. Night. As you tackle this task every night, your mind is racing with negative thoughts and you are literally tired of fighting to figure out how to get your baby to just be quiet and go to sleep. Your thoughts are everywhere. YOU are everywhere until you look down and realize: “I’m thinking about my baby, but I’m not thinking about my baby.” You realize you are so frustrated because you already feel defeated and because frankly, you don’t want to do this right now.

Change your mind. Change the narrative you’re reciting to yourself. Change the record playing in your head. Stop the speeding. Slow down and remember: you have to, yes, but you want to and you will because you can.

Believe that the crying will stop and that you will succeed. Here are some helpful steps to get you through each doubt and anxiety -inducing crying spell.

• Look at your baby.
• Calm and ground yourself
• Kiss, smell, cuddle and snuggle him/her
• Breathe
• Pray
• Cry if you need to
• Catch hold of your complaining, frustrated mind
• Rejoice and thank God you are fertile, your baby is alive, your baby is healthy, and anything else you can give thanks for.
• Take advantage of rest in times of quiet after the baby is finally sleep: Close your eyes, breathe, take a nap, drink water.

If The Crying Doesn’t Stop?

Take a break. That’s okay to do. It’s okay to swaddle your baby, sit them is a safe spot and let them cry out their frustration (and wear off some of their own energy) while you take a walk to another room for a moment, or lie down and destress. Sometimes your baby will fall asleep crying, and other times you will have to get back in there and try it again. However, after the crying alone, it is typically easier to put your baby to sleep because they are tired now (you, on the other hand, are rested). If you believe in pacifiers this would be a good time to try one.

Isolation, Loneliness, Disconnection

• In your quiet time , read about Biblical principals of motherhood, wife—hood, womanhood
• In play time with kids, watch YouTube videos on your TV featuring moms you admire or feel connected to, or who give you valuable information about the work of motherhood you’re doing
• While cooking and cleaning listen to podcasts of admirable mothers, wives, and women. Some of my favorites are:
  • Pricilla Shirer
  • Chrystal Evans Hurst
  • Karris Pharris

Feeling Inadequate

Evening fussiness, skin irritation, and sleep deprivation can easily make you wonder “am I cut out for this?” “Am I good enough, knowledgeable enough, strong enough, or enough enough to care for this baby?”

You got this and the answer is: absolutely; yes you are. Is your situation unfair? Probably. Are you overwhelmed to your limit? Of course you are. Could you use help that you will probably never get? You sure could. Can you keep going without it? Yes, you really can.

How?

Give yourself some grace

Be gentle with your thoughts about, and words to yourself. Even if you do the job imperfectly, even if you do no more than stumble through today, even if you achieve the sleep training method 2 out of 7 nights, KEEP GOING. Whatever you manage when you give your all, it makes a difference and Jesus will bless your efforts.

Look for relief where you can find it—no matter how small—and thank God more than you complain.

Celebrate your wins!

The baby FINALLY stopped crying after 45 minutes of screaming? YES! Praise God like you just won a new SUV.

You got in and out of the shower AND had time to moisturize…but the baby woke up as soon as you put on your robe? Praise God like you are fully dressed.

It’s Only A Season

Remember, your baby won’t be this age for long. Sleep gets easier for them meaning it gets easier for you. Breastfeeding will end (although some times you really wonder). Crying will eventually be replaced with words. Hang on in there. I bet you’re doing an amazing job.❤️❤️

Oh Yeah, and PRAY

“Don’t worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need then thank Him for all He’s done.” Philippians 4:6

If all else fails and worry consumes you, pray. Matter of fact pray the entire time without ceasing. Jesus appreciates when we have enough faith to cast our cares on Him.